When it comes to dating, everyone experiences insecurities. It’s difficult to put yourself out there, especially after a string of bad dates. The truth is that it is much easier to enjoy dating if you are secure in yourself and your abilities. Fortunately, there are many things you can do to boost your self-esteem and feel fantastic while looking for the ideal spouse.
Be yourself
You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Be honest about your interests, share jokes that show your sense of humor, and recall all of your wonderful characteristics.[1] You can display your passion of Star Wars or your collection of music memorabilia. Change your interests to suit the person you’re dating. Being at ease and content with yourself is a really appealing attribute, and you want someone who wants to date you for you.
Everyone has their own set of habits and flaws. Take care of yourself, be kind to others, and strive to be your best self. To find a decent match, you don’t have to be perfect.
Figure out what you’re looking for in a potential match
Knowing what you want might help you date confidently. In the dating scene, ask yourself what you’re searching for. Do you want a long-term partner or do you prefer casual fun? Have you recently ended a serious relationship and are interested about what else is out there? Determine what sounds best to you so you may confidently pursue your goals.
It’s fine to wait a while after ending a relationship before dating again. To boost your self-esteem, do things that make you pleased. When you’re ready to put yourself out there again, go for it.
Wear clothes that make you feel good
Looking good can make you feel great. Wear a collared shirt that makes you feel particularly dashing or a very eye-catching outfit. If you wear makeup, try different styles to emphasize what you enjoy about yourself, such as using eyeliner to draw attention to your eyes. Wear your favorite hue if you want to give yourself an extra lift. Even if you’re apprehensive about a date, wearing something you like makes you feel more comfortable and safe.
On your own terms, you should look good. You are not required to wear fancy gowns or suits if you do not enjoy wearing them. Instead, put on a great pair of corduroys or jeans.
Come up with a pre-date pep talk
This can assist increase your confidence before a major date. Think of affirmations to make oneself feel better, such as “I’m beautiful, smart, and awesome.” “Who wouldn’t want to date someone like me?” Say the words aloud or record them in a journal. It also helps to remember that the person you’re going to go on a date with may be nervous as well.
Even if it feels foolish, these positive reminders might help you prepare for a date.
You can also tell yourself, “I am one of a kind and worthy of love,” “I love myself,” and “You can do this.”
Remember your worth
Don’t rely on others to make you feel good about yourself.[6] Strengthen yourself by recalling all of your wonderful attributes, taking care of yourself, and stepping away when you are not treated well. True confidence begins with a favorable perception of oneself apart from what others think of one.
Take stock of all of your great characteristics before going on dates. Maybe you just got your dream job. Maybe you recently learned a pretty difficult tune on the guitar. Don’t let anyone remind you how cool you are!
Pay attention to how you feel about the other person
Don’t just speculate on whether they like you. Remember that they are also attempting to impress you! Concentrate on your chemistry with the other person. Take note of if you feel at ease around them and whether you have a connection with them.
Do you want to get to know them better and become closer to them? Do you enjoy each other’s jokes? These are topics to think about instead of whether or not they like you.
If you’re truly worried about how they feel about you (we all are), remember that they may be wondering the same thing. This can assist to calm your nerves.
Go for what you want
Playing hard to get should be avoided. Playing video games can indicate immaturity and insecurity. Instead of waiting a few days to tell them how much fun you had on your date, tell them the next morning. Maybe you enjoy the person you’re seeing but haven’t set up another date yet. Rather than waiting for them to ask, go ahead and ask. If you want to spend more time with them, be explicit about it.
Text them the night after a nice date something like, “Hey, I had a great time last night! Thank you for a wonderful Saturday night.”
If you want to invite them out again, say something like, “I hope you’re doing well! I had a great time with you last week. “Are you available this weekend?”
Keep up with your life outside of dating
People who are constantly engaged in enjoyable activities make excellent mates. Continue to work toward your pre-dating goals, such as getting a promotion or returning to school. Participate in activities such as sports, music, and art. Spend time with your family and friends. Make sure that you are not devoting all of your focus to dating.
Watch out for red flags and compatibility issues
Avoid dismissing signs that the person isn’t a good fit for you. Take note if the person you’re dating says they don’t want children or aren’t seeking for a long-term relationship. If you want both of those things, consider whether you and your partner are a good fit. Accepting that you’re not compatible with someone, even if you’re attracted to them and think they’re a lovely person, is part of dating.
Don’t think you can alter someone. People should be dated for who they are right now.
Accept rejection as a part of dating
Unfortunately, rejection is sometimes inescapable.Take it in stride and instead see it as an opportunity to learn and meet the ideal person for you. Allow yourself to be sad while keeping your head held high. Consider it an opportunity to meet someone more compatible with you.
Don’t let rejection damage your self-esteem because it has much more to do with compatibility and personal choice than it does with your personal character.
If you’re feeling particularly sad, remind yourself of all of your positive characteristics. Make a list of them and refer back to it whenever you’re feeling down.