Knowing if you’re in a relationship with your soulmate can be one of life’s most confusing dilemmas. Are you truly with the right person, or is it time to move on?
According to licensed therapist and popular TikTok creator Flynn Skidmore, there are two fundamental questions that can provide remarkable clarity when evaluating your romantic partnership.
The Two Defining Questions For Every Relationship
Every serious relationship eventually reaches a critical juncture where partners must honestly assess whether they should commit long-term.
For individuals who’ve experienced past relationship trauma, betrayal, or emotional wounds, this self-reflection can feel particularly daunting.
Skidmore explains that much of our confusion stems from not knowing whether our doubts represent genuine intuition warning us about incompatibility, or if they’re simply manifestations of our unconscious relationship wounds sabotaging what could be a healthy partnership.
This is where his two revealing questions come in – they serve as an emotional litmus test to determine if your relationship is truly nurturing your growth or quietly holding you back.
1. Do You Feel Safe Being Vulnerable With This Person?
Emotional safety forms the bedrock of all lasting relationships. According to Skidmore, you should be able to reveal your deepest wounds, triggers, and insecurities to your partner without fear of judgment, attack, or that your honesty might destroy the relationship.
In healthy partnerships, vulnerability actually strengthens the bond. When you share your emotional triggers (which inevitably surface in all relationships), your partner should respond with compassion and curiosity rather than criticism.
Their reaction to your vulnerabilities reveals whether the relationship provides the safety required for true intimacy.
If you constantly fear that being honest about your feelings might damage the relationship, that’s a significant red flag.
As Skidmore notes, remaining in a relationship where you don’t feel emotionally safe can stunt your personal growth for years. The right partner creates space where your wounds can heal rather than remain open.
2. Does This Relationship Help You Love Yourself More?
While finding love with another person is wonderful, the most crucial relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Skidmore emphasizes that who you become in the relationship matters more than finding your idealized version of a perfect partner.
Marriage and family therapist Louise Armstrong expands on this concept, warning that negative changes often occur when we become overly dependent on a partner’s validation.
If you find yourself altering your personality, suppressing your needs, or constantly seeking approval, these are warning signs of an unhealthy dynamic.
Ask yourself: Do I genuinely like who I am when I’m with this person? Does the relationship bring out my best qualities or amplify my insecurities?
The healthiest partnerships should make you feel more confident in your own skin, not less.
The Transformative Power Of These Questions
What makes these two questions so powerful is that they don’t just evaluate your partner’s behavior – they reveal how the relationship affects your relationship with yourself.
By honestly answering them, you gain insights that apply far beyond romance.
As Skidmore explains, this introspection helps with:
- Identifying patterns from past relationships
- Recognizing your growth needs
- Developing stronger emotional intelligence
- Building self-awareness that benefits all areas of life
Whether you decide to stay in your current relationship or move on, engaging with these questions ensures you’ll do so with greater clarity about what you truly need from love.
And that understanding is perhaps the greatest relationship gift you can give yourself.
The bottom line? The right relationship should feel like both a safe harbor and a springboard – a place where you can be fully yourself while becoming the best version of yourself.
If yours doesn’t provide both emotional safety and personal growth, it may be time for some serious reflection about your future together.