5 Signs Your Best Friend Is Actually Your Frenemy

They say that friends are the family we choose. But what if your closest friend isn’t all sunshine and rainbows?

Sometimes, beneath the laughter and shared secrets, you might discover that your best friend is, in reality, your frenemy.

A frenemy is a person who pretends to be a friend but harbors negative feelings or behaves in a way that undermines your well-being.

In this article, we’ll explore five telltale signs that your best friend might actually be your frenemy.

A Twist in Friendship

Before we uncover the signs, we must understand that frenemies can be challenging to spot.

Their behavior is often subtle and can mask itself as friendly banter or teasing.

Only when you take a closer look will you start to see the cracks in the facade.

Unhealthy Competition

Sign 1: The Constant Competition

Healthy competition can be a great motivator, but with frenemies, it’s a never-ending race.

They’ll always find ways to one-up you, whether it’s about grades, looks, or achievements.

Your successes become a source of jealousy rather than celebration.

H2: Backhanded Compliments

Sign 2: The Compliments That Sting

Frenemies are masters at delivering backhanded compliments.

They’ll say something nice on the surface but include a hidden insult or criticism.

For example, “You look so much better with makeup” or “I wish I could be as carefree as you.”

H2: Trust Issues

Sign 3: Your Secrets Aren’t Safe

A true friend is a confidant, someone you can trust with your deepest secrets.

But if your best friend is a frenemy, those secrets might not be safe.

They may use your vulnerabilities against you intentionally or out of spite.

H2: Drama Magnet

Sign 4: Drama Follows Them

Frenemies have a knack for attracting drama and chaos.

It’s as if they thrive on negativity.

If your best friend frequently involves you in dramatic situations or instigates conflicts, it might be a sign they’re not truly looking out for your well-being.

Emotional Rollercoaster

Sign 5: You Feel Drained

A genuine friendship should uplift and energize you.

But if your best friend leaves you feeling emotionally drained, it’s a red flag.

Frenemies can be emotionally manipulative, making you question your self-worth and leaving you with constant stress or self-doubt.


In conclusion, identifying a frenemy in your life can be challenging, especially when it’s someone you consider your best friend.

It’s essential to pay attention to these signs and trust your instincts.

If you find that your best friend is actually a frenemy, it might be time to reevaluate the dynamics of your relationship and consider whether it’s worth maintaining.


1. Can frenemies change their behavior and become true friends?

It’s possible, but it requires open and honest communication.

Positive change is possible if both parties are willing to address the issues and work on the friendship.

However, setting boundaries and ensuring the changes are sustained is essential.

2. Why do frenemies behave the way they do?

Frenemies often act out of their insecurities and jealousy.

They may feel threatened by your successes or perceive you as a threat.

Their behavior is a defense mechanism to protect their self-esteem.

3. How can I address the frenemy situation with my best friend?

A sincere, one-on-one conversation is a good start.

Express your feelings and concerns honestly, and ask your friend about their intentions.

If the behavior doesn’t change and negatively affects you, distance yourself may be necessary.

4. What’s the difference between friendly teasing and frenemy behavior?

Friendly teasing is typically lighthearted and enjoyable for both parties. It’s based on mutual respect and good intentions.

On the other hand, Frenemy behavior is hurtful or critical and serves to undermine or harm the other person.

5. Is it common to have frenemies in adult life?

While “frenemy” may sound more associated with adolescence, these complex relationships can persist into adulthood.

It’s essential to be aware of such dynamics and choose friends who genuinely support your well-being.

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